The Righteous & The Wicked (dongo_casbah) wrote,
The Righteous & The Wicked
dongo_casbah

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Train in Vain

So today was trying to say the least. I really thought that our relationship would last forever and could endure anything...I guess I was wrong. I really tried my hardest to give everything I had, but I guess it wasn't enough. I have so many emotions that I don't know where to place them. But I believe I am managing well. As the minutes go by I come to more and more conclusions about things and it helps me cope with these things. But to be honest, I can't help but feel a bit betrayed. I guess when someone just tells you they don't feel the same about you that they have for 5 years, it comes as a bit of a shock. I think that's where the feeling of betrayal stems from. I just kind of feel that a lot of this could have been avoided and handled in a much different matter.

All I know is that I can't let this get me down. I think with a situation like this makes one's insecurities start to creep out from the shadows. Especially when everything that you had your confidence wrapped into drops it like a bad habit. But I won't believe a word of any of it. I don't think I am a bad person and I really like the person that I am. I realize that I am not perfect or anything but I don't know one who is. I am not trying to sound critical or trying to wag my finger in any kind of way, but I guess I just need a place to vent.

I guess me being here in Japan and having everything change as a result is an understatement. But I don't think that change is a bad thing. So I will just look forward to tomorrow I suppose.

I think I will leave this post off with my favorite Clash song. I really find music a great medium in which to express myself and in these types of matters that is especially true. I guess this song will just kind of summarize how am feeling as of right now...

"Train in Vain"

You say you stand by your man
So tell me something I don't understand
You said you love me and thats a fact
Then you left me, said you felt trapped

Well some things you can explain away
But my heartaches in me till this day


Did you stand by me?
No, not at all
Did you stand by me?
No way

All the times
When we were close
I'll remember these things the most
I see all my dreams come tumbling down
I can't be happy without you around

So all alone I keep the wolves at bay
And there is only one thing that I can say

Did you stand by me?
No, not at all
Did you stand by me?
No way


You must explain why this must be
Did you lie when you spoke to me?

Did you stand by me?
No, not at all

Now I got a job
But it don't pay
I need new clothes
I need somewhere to stay
But without all these things I can do
But without your love I wont make it through

But you don't understand my point of view
I suppose theres nothing I can do

Did you stand by me?
No, not at all
Did you stand by me?
No way


You must explain why this must be
Did you lie when you spoke to me?

Did you stand by me?
Did you stand by me?
No, not at all
Did you stand by me?
No way
Did you stand by me?
No, not at all
Did you stand by me?
No way
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